Why Starting Psychotherapy Is the Best New Year’s Resolution You Can Make

Every January, we set New Year’s resolutions with hope, determination and a desire for change. Resolutions are often framed as promises of renewal, an opportunity to become a fresher, healthier, calmer, or more disciplined version of ourselves.

But despite our best intentions, resolutions often take on a dreamlike or fantasy quality: they describe what we’d like to do, rather than what we truly believe we will do.

And when they inevitably slip (as they do for most people), the harsh internal voice often follows:

• “I’ve failed.”

• “I never get it right.”

• “I’ll always be this way.”

• “I’m just not good enough.”

As a psychotherapist based in Chorlton, Manchester, I witness how for many people, the sense of “failure” doesn’t just end the goal, it reinforces a deep-rooted belief that change is impossible.

But the truth is this: Change is possible but it cannot thrive in shame, self-criticism or unrealistic expectations. It grows in understanding, curiosity, support and honest exploration of what sits beneath the surface.

That is why the most powerful New Year’s resolution you can make isn’t to change your behaviour overnight, but to begin to explore what might be making you feel stuck or dissatisfied in the first place. Psychotherapy can support you to do this.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail (and Why It’s Not Your Fault)

Most resolutions focus on doing e.g. going to the gym, eating differently, stopping a habit, becoming more organised. But behaviour sits on top of something much deeper: your beliefs about yourself, your past experiences, and the internal messages you’ve absorbed since childhood.

On the surface: “This year I will…”

Underneath: “But I don’t believe I can.”

This invisible conflict creates a tug-of-war between who you are now and who you wish you could be.

Many psychological and philosophical theories speak to this internal struggle:

Transactional Analysis (TA)

Resolutions often activate the internal Critical Parent (“Do better!” “Be perfect!”), causing the Adapted Child to feel overwhelmed, ashamed or unable to keep up. Without shifting these internal dynamics, the resolution collapses under emotional pressure.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT shows how unhelpful thinking patterns like “I’m useless” or “I always fail” shape our behaviour. If the core belief remains unchallenged, new habits cannot take root.

Stoicism

Stoicism reminds us that change requires discipline and self-understanding. Without clarity about what is within your control (your responses, choices, attitudes), resolutions can feel overwhelming or impossible.

Across these approaches, a shared truth emerges: Self-change is hard when the psychological foundations remain unexamined.

The Invisible Barriers Between “Who I Am” and “Who I Want to Be”

Most people hold a clear picture of two selves:

• The self you are now – shaped by habits, fears, past experiences, family dynamics and internal beliefs.

• The self you want to become – free from certain patterns, behaving differently, calmer, happier, more confident.

  
  

Between these two selves sits something powerful: self-limiting beliefs. These often come from early experiences and are internalised as truths:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I shouldn’t need help.”

• “I mustn’t let anyone down.”

• “I’ll never change.”

• “I don’t deserve better.”

  
  

These beliefs can act as a psychological barrier, making resolutions feel like climbing a wall without footholds. Before we can act differently, we often need support in understanding why we behave the way we do and compassion for the parts of us still holding on to old fears.

This is where psychotherapy becomes transformative.

Why Psychotherapy Is the Most Effective New Year’s Resolution You Can Make

Therapy is not a quick fix or a perfect January solution. It is a meaningful, sustainable commitment to yourself.

1. Therapy Addresses the Root—Not Just the Symptom

Instead of focusing on surface behaviours, psychotherapy explores:

• your emotional patterns

• internalised beliefs

• family scripts

• self-worth

• past experiences

• barriers to change

  
  

This allows change to grow from the inside out.

2. Therapy Helps You Understand Why Resolutions Feel Hard

Through therapy, you begin to see the emotional architecture behind your habits and choices. This understanding reduces shame and increases self-compassion.

3. Therapy Supports Sustainable, Realistic Change

You don’t have to “fix everything” at once. In therapy, change becomes manageable, supported, and paced gently.

4. Therapy Helps You Learn to Speak to Yourself Differently

When the inner critic softens, the possibility of growth expands.

5. Therapy Helps You Redefine What You Actually Want

Rather than resolutions driven by pressure or comparison, therapy helps you shape goals grounded in authenticity and values.

The Most Important Resolution? Begin Therapy.

If you live in Chorlton or the wider Manchester area, and you’re considering your New Year’s resolutions, I invite you to think about this:

What if the most meaningful change you could make this year is to understand yourself more deeply? To unlearn what holds you back? To create space for self-compassion, rather than self-criticism?

Psychotherapy offers a safe, confidential and supportive environment to explore who you are and who you want to become. And unlike most resolutions, therapy doesn’t require perfection. It simply requires you to show up.

If you’re ready to begin the most impactful resolution of the year, you can learn more or get in touch here.

You don’t have to navigate change alone and you can become the version of yourself you’re hoping for.